ORLANDO, Fla. — Mark Rawls, 54, is a Navy veteran. He served as a jet mechanic in a submarine hunter squadron for about nine years, leading up to and during the Gulf War.

During his service, Rawls traveled all over the world. He’s been to each continent three times. He got to know indigenous people from different countries, and learned more about different ways of life. It was through those experiences that he started seeing the United States of America in a new light.

“Everywhere we went, we were like the policemen,” Rawls said of himself and his colleagues, expressing the internal conflict he felt about the way the U.S. military would police people in their own countries. 

Returning to civilian life after almost 10 years of military service was difficult for Rawls. It was impossible to adapt seamlessly back into the life he’d known before enlisting in the military as an 18-year-old.

“They expect us to get out of the military the day that we get out and click that light switch off,” Rawls said. “But once your learned ability is learned, you can't really unlearn it. Once you know something, you can't unknow it.”

A Hard Adjustment

After coming home, Rawls struggled with homelessness, drug addiction and dysfunctional personal relationships. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. 

“My life was in shambles,” Rawls said.

As a veteran, he knew he had the right to receive aid from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. But time and time again, V.A. staff said they couldn’t help him. 

Rawls was persistent. He’d go to places where he could use public computers to work on things like researching aid organizations, and applying for his VA card. 

Yet every time Rawls sought help — from the V.A., the Salvation Army in Orlando, and other aid organizations — he was dismissed.

It wasn’t until President Barack Obama was inaugurated that something major changed for Rawls. The Obamas announced their intention to prioritize care for veterans. That very same week, Rawls said, he again went to the Salvation Army in Orlando in search of help. 

This time, the intake process was different. Staff members asked Rawls more probing, personal questions about his mental state. When Rawls asked what had changed, a staff member told him that these were the kinds of questions they were supposed to have been asking all along. But now, the Salvation Army was under more scrutiny.

Rawls learned that day that for the past two decades, he’d been living with undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The disturbing things he’d witnessed during his military service exacerbated the PTSD he’d developed during childhood, his counselor would later tell him.

Rawls was prescribed medication and started going to counseling. The impact was remarkable.

“It changed my life tremendously,” he said.

A New Life — For Him and Others

Since that day at the Salvation Army in Orlando in 2009, Rawls has rebuilt his life. He’s been able to restore his relationships with his four daughters, who all have master’s degrees. He earns enough money working construction gigs to support himself.

His life is by no means perfect. Rawls is currently staying another stint at the local Salvation Army’s men’s shelter. A traumatic incident he experienced in Jacksonville caused him to temporarily lose housing. But he has the necessary inner knowledge now to understand his triggers and healthier ways to respond.

Rawls’s return to Orlando’s Salvation Army was no accident. On the contrary, it’s a choice Rawls views as a healthy coping mechanism — something he had to do to progress in his therapy.

“All my bad experiences were here,” Rawls said of Downtown Orlando, explaining that he needs to face his traumatic memories of living on the streets head-on so he can move forward with his healing.

Additionally, Rawls feels it’s his duty now to help other veterans like him who are battling the system to try to receive the help they need. He’s spending some of his time in Orlando going out on the streets, connecting with people who are currently homeless. When he meets other struggling veterans, he listens to their stories and helps guide them where he can.

“I think a lot of my adapting techniques come from being a Pittsburgher,” Rawls said. 

He explained that growing up surrounded by his hometown city’s universities and libraries made it easier for him to think about using public resources to better his own life. 

Still, it took 20 years of him going back and forth to the VA, being told there was nothing wrong with him, before Rawls got the help he desperately needed.

“At the time, PTSD was not a word,” Rawls said.

He doesn’t want other veterans to have to go through the same experience he did.

“Now that the doors are open for me, my job is to be an advocate for all veterans,” Rawls said.

Molly Duerig is a Report For America corps member, covering affordable housing for Spectrum News 13. Report for America is a nonprofit national service program that places journalists in local newsrooms to report on undercovered issues.